Ways To Say No Without Feeling Guilty

One of the shortest and simplest words in English causes even the most confident people stress. Most people shrink from saying no because they would rather sacrifice their time, energy and money than cause conflict or awkwardness, or experience feelings of guilt.

Learning to say no takes practice and patience and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone.

1. Develop a new respect for yourself.

Revisit your personal boundaries and honour your commitments to yourself. Once you begin to respect yourself fully, others around you will find it easy to respect you.

2. Get your priorities straight.

What's most important to you? Write it down. Keep a copy with you at all times. Once you know what it is you want for yourself, it will be easier to stop agreeing to things that will get in the way.

3. Take responsibility for yourself.

When you realise that only you are responsible for yourself and for the tasks you take on, you'll get that saying yes to things you really want to say no to is just a way of deferring making your own decisions.

4. Assert your right to ask for clarification or more information.

This will buy you time, and allow you to weigh your options and your priorities. It will also make it clear to the other person that you're not agreeing to their request straight away.

5. Stop being invested in being nice.

If you say yes so that you can be the 'nice guy,' then the chances are you'll follow through half-heartedly and this won't go down well with the person who asked you - and you won't feel good about with yourself either.

6. Remember that you do not have to say yes.

You have the right to say no without giving a reason for your answer.

7. Sandwich your response.

Start your answer by offering a positive comment to the person, followed by your decline, followed by a suggestion for an alternative. Example: your boss asks you to take on an additional piece of work which you do not have the time for: "That sounds like an interesting project, unfortunately at the moment the sales pitch is taking up all of my time. You know, Mary might appreciate the chance to lead the project."

8. Get that saying no does not reject the person, it simply refuses the request.

9. Be assertive.

Don't give a long explanation and don't apologise for yourself, "I'm sorry, but..."

10. Practice.

Say no in the mirror, role play situations with your partner/friends/family and practice in real life, starting with smaller things and working your way up to saying no in more difficult situations