Rabu, 23 April 2008

Ways To Say No Without Feeling Guilty

One of the shortest and simplest words in English causes even the most confident people stress. Most people shrink from saying no because they would rather sacrifice their time, energy and money than cause conflict or awkwardness, or experience feelings of guilt.

Learning to say no takes practice and patience and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone.

1. Develop a new respect for yourself.

Revisit your personal boundaries and honour your commitments to yourself. Once you begin to respect yourself fully, others around you will find it easy to respect you.

2. Get your priorities straight.

What's most important to you? Write it down. Keep a copy with you at all times. Once you know what it is you want for yourself, it will be easier to stop agreeing to things that will get in the way.

3. Take responsibility for yourself.

When you realise that only you are responsible for yourself and for the tasks you take on, you'll get that saying yes to things you really want to say no to is just a way of deferring making your own decisions.

4. Assert your right to ask for clarification or more information.

This will buy you time, and allow you to weigh your options and your priorities. It will also make it clear to the other person that you're not agreeing to their request straight away.

5. Stop being invested in being nice.

If you say yes so that you can be the 'nice guy,' then the chances are you'll follow through half-heartedly and this won't go down well with the person who asked you - and you won't feel good about with yourself either.

6. Remember that you do not have to say yes.

You have the right to say no without giving a reason for your answer.

7. Sandwich your response.

Start your answer by offering a positive comment to the person, followed by your decline, followed by a suggestion for an alternative. Example: your boss asks you to take on an additional piece of work which you do not have the time for: "That sounds like an interesting project, unfortunately at the moment the sales pitch is taking up all of my time. You know, Mary might appreciate the chance to lead the project."

8. Get that saying no does not reject the person, it simply refuses the request.

9. Be assertive.

Don't give a long explanation and don't apologise for yourself, "I'm sorry, but..."

10. Practice.

Say no in the mirror, role play situations with your partner/friends/family and practice in real life, starting with smaller things and working your way up to saying no in more difficult situations

Senin, 07 April 2008

THE KEYS TO CRAFTING A COMPELLING MISSION STATEMENT

Most individual or corporate mission statements contain industry buzzwords, are so complex that no one can recite them, and do nothing to inspire. The more elaborate it is, the less likely it is understood and remembered. Having a clear and concise mission statement for yourself and your Company becomes your guiding compass as you journey through life.

1. Your mission is larger than a job.

Ideally your job will align with your mission. For example, you could be employed as a teacher while your mission is education. To limit your personality and unique abilities to such boundaries causes a profound loss of identity when your job or career changes. The average person can expect to have seven employment changes in a lifetime.

2. Your mission is much more than your role.

We all have various roles we fulfill: spouse, parent, manager, friend...In our culture, men tend to define themselves by what they do professionally. Often, women define themselves by their roles or relationships. Linking your role to your mission places you in a vulnerable position because your role is likely to change--most notably through death or divorce. Who were you before your roles?

3. Your mission is not your To-Do List.

As Stephen Covey so masterfully points out in First Things First, there is a huge distinction between what is important and what is urgent. Most people fill their to-do lists with activities which appear to require immediate attention. When writing your mission statement, contemplate the big picture and focus on your core values. Develop your mission first, then list corresponding goals. Otherwise, you can be very busy following a to-do list without creating anything worthwhile.

4. You are already living your mission on some level.

Living your mission may not require massive changes. You can begin right where you are now. Increase your awareness daily of what's really important to you. What do you want to be known for? Increased focus allows you to receive, recognize and fully integrate your mission.

5. You are born with a purpose.

Everyone's life is important enough to warrent a mission. In the classic movie: It's a Wonderful Life, Jimmy Stewart portrays a suicidal businessman who experiences what the lives of his friends and loved ones would be like WITHOUT him. Mostly, we don't have this overview or the understanding of how interconnected we are. Every thought we have, word we speak and action we take affects the entire universe.

6. Your mission may not appear to be grand.

You don't have to be another Mother Theresa or significantly contribute to the Gross National Product. You've heard the saying: For want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe, the horse was lost; for want of a horse, the battle was lost. The blacksmith responsible for Paul Revere's horse's feet indirectly helped lead a nation to freedom. Positively affect one life and you can be considered successful.

7. Your mission is a perfect fit for you.

Your mission is not something you loathe doing. Years ago, I feared God would want me to be a missionary living in a grass hut and I wanted to postpone this event as long as possible. It was irrational. Think of this: what CEO in his/her right mind would have the sales team switch to accounting? When you are living your mission, you experience pure joy. It is not hard and does not involve suffering. Rather, it resonates with the essence of who you are 100%: at work, at home, at a party and alone. Accept a mission that fits you, not the needs or expectations of others.

8. Your mission is not the same as that of your peers.

While crafting your mission statement, temporarily disassociate yourself from your peers. We are often influenced by and take as our own the values and goals of those in our network, thus inhibiting self-discovery. This distancing will allow you to concentrate on what is important and unique to you.

9. Your mission is your true heart's desire.

You may be in a career that parallels your dream. I'd like to have a dollar for every magazine editor, advertising copywriter or reporter whose real dream is to be a full-time novelist. Go for the REAL THING. Ask yourself: Is this the highest thing I could do in my life?

10. Your mission inspires you to take action.

Great leaders can state their mission succinctly. Nelson Mandela's mission was to end apartheid; Mother Theresa 's mission is to show compassion to the dying. If you don't feel passionate about your mission, it isn't your mission. Choose action verbs that are meaningful to you. For example, my mission is to breathe, ignite and magnify personal power. Join the 1% of the people in the world who have a clear sense of who they are and where they are going.

WAYS TO IDENTIFY YOUR VISION

'Having a Vision' sounds like such a big or impressive thing, doesn't it? But this Top 10 List is designed to explain what a vision is, how it works, how easy it is to find one and what do with it once you do see it. Microsoft's vision is a very clear one: "A computer on every desk and in every home, all running Microsoft software." (I'm paraphrasing a bit.)

1. Be clued in to the trends which are affecting society and business and you.

A vision is, in one way, about the future. Yet, a vision is even more about the present; it's about what is happening TODAY. In fact, I'd even say that the clearest/best visions ARE now-based. Meaning that you simply identify or recognize a current condition, trend or event and then EXTRAPOLATE from there....If you notice society making progress in one area and you can determine that the forces behind the progress will likely continue, then you can pretty easily 'see' the vision of the progress continuing until it is universal or has reached the point of being finished. (Look at Microsoft's vision in the introduction area above and you'll see what I mean. They ARE extrapolating, but can back it up with data.)

2. Know several visionary types, personally.

It's one thing to have a vision; it's another to be a visionary. A visionary usually can see a number of things/visions, not just one. As you spend time with folks like this, their 'skills' and abstract thinking will improve your own; and your vision.

3. Identify a current trend and extrapolate it into a vision.

What is a current trend you see in your field of work, or in life itself? Computers are a trend. So is the Internet. How about retailing? What's the underlying trend there? Education? Once you've picked an area and identified a trend, ask yourself, "Hmmm, if this trend continues for the next 50 years, what will be TRUE for this industry/situation/product/market/population?" For example, if trends continue regarding the Internet, 80-95% of American homes WILL eventually be connected to the Internet in some manner (PCs, NCs, WebTV), just as 90%+ of American homes have phones now (compared to a much lower number earlier this century). So, given this 80-95% Internet penetration factor, what's one of the more obvious visions regarding the Internet and people? The end of ignorance? An explosion of creativity? The end of education as we know it? The fun thing about this process is that your vision doesn't have to be accurate - a vision is not a prediction nor a promise. It's just what you see, given what you see.

4. Give up chasing a vision.

Having a vision has become a sexy thing, meaning that people think it's important to have one. And it is. But a vision is usually best as something that you discover as you live your life or engage in your work, instead of something you are straining your eyes to see. You can't acquire a vision. However, you can notice what's already occurring around you and extrapolate THAT into a vision.

5. Drop the whole notion of life purpose, primary meaning, commitment, and mission.

One can create a case for the value of having a clearly articulated life purpose, meaning, commitments or mission, and I have to admit, each of these has value. However, these are not necessary. They can even get in the way. Because they are all future-based/future-outcome type things. They are what I call manufactured realities or futures. They are renditions or are created from a need to feel more secure in who a person is. They are generally trappings. As someone I respect said: "Thomas, your life purpose is just to be great. Give up the other stuff and just be yourself. That's plenty."

6. Use goals as a way of keeping your vision clear and available.

A vision that I have is that everyone will have the phrasing (definition: vocabulary plus awareness) to get what they want. To me, this is so obvious, it's boring. Meaning that I clearly see the world already progressing in this direction. It WILL happen universally at some point, even if we're only 1% of the way there currently. I don't even have to have faith in the vision; it's just an obvious extrapolation. However, it is fun to identify projects that will accelerate the vision, just as Microsoft comes up with new operating systems and applications and reasons for people to have a computer at work and at home.

7. Adjust your life so that you're inspired by your vision instead of empowered by it.

This point is a little tricky. Empowerment, generally a good thing, is not a good thing in this area of vision. Because that would mean that your empowerment is dependent on your vision's development. I'd rather reduce the stress of the vision by being content about it and feeling inspired by it from time to time. I get my empowerment from people, not projects. Big difference.

8. Let your vision evolve by your development and awareness.

I only focus on my vision every couple of months. I kind of 'check in' with it and with what I'm working on. I don't have to check in any more often than this, because the vision is so clear for me that it already guides my actions and orients my projects. The projects or ideas which come to me have already been 'filtered' by the clarity of the vision. I'm probably not going to have ideas that are not directly related to the vision being realized. So, I am free to chill out, be myself, grow, enjoy, learn and develop myself, without having to constantly check in and consciously measure myself against the vision. Which brings us to point #9.

9. Don't confuse self-identity with your vision.

There is ME and then there is my VISION. There is YOU and then there is your VISION. You know the two have crashed into each other when your vision becomes a CAUSE and you start basing your life, self-esteem, success or identity on the progression or success of your vision. It's not pretty. In these cases, the vision has become a need and it messes people up.

10. Let your vision evolve naturally.

In other words, don't get fixated about your (single) vision. Let it evolve and grow; it needs to, given you're changing as well. Have it be your friend, not your reason for being

Jumat, 16 November 2007

Strategies for Developing Leadership

Whether you are a corporate executive, manager, church leader, chamber director or teacher, leadership is the highest skill you can bring to the table, especially in these challenging times. Although we hear the term "born leader" often, more often than not leadership skills are developed rather than discovered. Here are a few ideas for developing your leadership skills.

1. Have a vision.

One reason leaders influence people and organizations is that they have a clear picture of what they want for their business, church, chamber or project. People who leave no doubt where it is they are going attract followers.

2. Be aware.

A leader knows his own strengths and motivations, but also his limitations and challenges. A leader is aware of others' feelings, reactions, strengths and motivations. She is aware of what is "going on" around her.

3. Respond, don't react.

Reactions are emotion driven and often lead to inappropriate words or actions. Strong leaders choose instead to be thoughtful and measured in responding to challenges and crises.

4. Know your values.

Leadership requires self-discipline. Before one can discipline oneself she must know what she stands for in the first place. When you are clear on your values and your standards, and live by them, you become character driven rather than emotion driven.

5. Maintain a positive attitude.

One reason Dr. Norman Vincent Peale's book, "The Power of Positive Thinking," is still one of the best read books in the world is that we all want to be inspired to think positively and know the power of positive thinking. The leader knows how to generate it within himself and to broadcast it.

6. Be enthusiastic.

Along with positive thinking, enthusiasm draws people to you and your cause. Napoleon Hill says that enthusiasm is the steam that drives the engine. The great John Wooden said, "without enthusiasm you can't work up to your fullest ability." Enthusiasm can't be taught, but it can be caught. Catch fire and let others catch yours!

7. Speak well.

Tom Peters, in his book "Power," writes that "being able to speak effectively is real power" and recommends Toastmasters. There's a reason why this international organization of over 8000 clubs calls its training "Leadership and Communications. " Leadership and effective communications go hand-in-hand. Join Toastmasters!

8. Listen well.

One of the most attractive skills we can develop is one of truly listening to others, because it says we care. Yet, experts tell us we hear only 70% of what others are saying. Learn to listen not just with your ears, but with your eyes and your heart.

9. Don't try to fix people.

Help people excel at what they are already good at. So advise Buckingham and Coffman in their book "First, Break All the Rules." The reality is that we don't all have the same potential and we can't all be everything we want to be. The leader recognizes the strengths of others and helps them develop those strengths rather than trying to make them something they are not.

10. Get your needs met.

What must you have in your life in order to be complete? We're talking needs, not wants, which are usually substitutes for our needs. We are told that most of our decisions in life are, at the root, needs driven. When you are not coming from a place of need, your integrity is intact and you are a more effective leader.

Minggu, 11 November 2007

Characteristics of a Leading Edge Organization

As Tom Peters and Bob Waterman discovered after writing their best-selling, "In Search of Excellence," labeling any organization as "excellent" can be chancy at best. A fair number of those fair-haired stars were not glowing so brightly a couple of years later. Still, what's an entrepreneur to do? There has to be some way to identify the factors that lead to long term success. Here are ten characteristics that any CEO who plans to be around for long might consider.
1. A fluid vision.
Vision, the kind that results in great ideas and organizations, stems from the heart more than the mind. And, as any teenager can tell you, the heart can appear fickle, fragile, and frequently changing. Visions that really work, for individuals and organizations as well, are those that ARE from the heart, and that's their strength. They proceed from feelings, which are the advance antennae of the intellect. So, the rule here is: don't over-logic your vision; let it appear, develop and unfold. Let it be fluid!
2. Chameleon-like adaptiveness.
How quickly and easily can the policies, practices, programs, systems, structures AND plans in your organization be changed? If the answer is, "Not very," then you may want to think again. The leopard or organization that cannot change its spots can be in deep trouble when caught in the cross hairs of a hunter/competitor' s rifle-like attack. Being fully adaptive means that there is virtually nothing in your organization that you would not, or could not change -- except for ...
3. An unwavering set of values.
Values, quite simply, are what you believe, what you live by, and what's really important to you. For individuals, they're the bedrock of self-esteem. For organizations, they're rules to live by that come way before, and long after, the bottom line. They include some of the items on this list as well as things like integrity, honesty, and commitment.
4. An obsession with innovation.
If this had been written only five years ago, the word 'obsession,' would not have been applicable. Some milder term, such as penchant, posture, or proclivity would have suited just fine. Today, those words don't cut it. You must be obsessed with the need to change, innovate, re-create. Nothing less offers even a hope of long term viability.
5. Quality as a relative and an absolute value.
One reason why so many TQM programs haven't worked too well is the failure to recognize that quality is a two-sided coin. Quality is, first, a function of use and price. If you designed a rubber band to last as long as a diamond ring, they would probably end up costing about the same. You design a product in terms of the uses to which it is to be put, and the price you can reasonably expect to get. Within these parameters, however, the secret is to design, produce, and deliver the highest quality product you can for the price.
6. A commitment to value.
Value is a result of correctly defining quality. It's also an extension of the quality philosophy, for having a commitment to value means that, when you recognize you're not delivering full value to the customer, you CHANGE. You may have to change your product, your price, your distribution system, or even your people, but you change, and you do it quickly. The price we pay for high tech and real-time information is that there is increasingly little room for the slow moving company or individual.
7. Service as an absolute value.
Here's one area where there is (or should be) no compromise, and the reason is simple. Customers react to service, or the lack of it, in emotional terms. They aren't rational and they shouldn't be! As any real pro in sales can tell you, attract your customers with total unconditional service, and you've got 'em. That's not to say that you don't have to be price-conscious, only that price is a short-term and highly volatile determination, whereas service is a long-term commitment with equally long-term results.
8. Qualitatively- based leadership.
There's been so much written on leadership the past ten years or so, that it makes you wonder if there were any good leaders before 1985! The fact is, effective, enlightened, or just darn good leaders possess five key qualities. They are highly inner directed, dynamically balanced, incredibly flexible, internally empowered, and personally committed. You may think that's a tall order, but as the saying goes: "Only the best ..."
9. An infinite capacity for renewal.
We need to design organizations and leaders the way the body is designed. According to Dr. Deepak Chopra, noted author and ayurvedic specialist, every cell in the body is renewed annually. Just think how different our organizations would be if we applied the same principles as the Big Fellow did!
10. A deep abiding sense of community.
Two of the greatest contributions of modern physics are the notions of infinite connectedness and holographic reality. (Look that up in your Funk & Wagnalls.) That we are all connected with interests and futures intertwined, is still only slowly dawning upon much of corporate America. And that we, in our selves and our organizations, are each "representations of the whole," is an idea that has yet to be aired in most board rooms.

Jumat, 31 Agustus 2007

Are You a Perfect 10?

According to an opinion survey of 5,000 workers, employees look for the following characteristics in an effective leader:

1. Has the ability to give clear direction.

2. Practices candid, honest, and open communication; encourages two-way communication and creates a climate of trust.

3. Is willing to coach and support people.

4. Relates rewards to performance.

5. Gives feedback on important actions.

6. Selects the right people for the organization.

7. Understands the financial implications of decisions.

8. Encourages new ideas.

9. Gives employees a voice in decisions.

10. Displays consistent high integrity.
Remember, employees want to work for leaders they can respect.